Firstly I want to thank all of you who have taken the time to email me with your good thoughts, hugs, best wishes and encouragement. Some of you have experienced where I am; you know how helpful it is to hear from someone who has been through the same thing.
One of the good things to come out of this experience is that I’m learning how to live my life differently. After 60 years, my old identity no longer fits, so I’m having to think about who I am outside of what I do. It’s painful and there are moments when I simply can’t move or think. This is a new experience for someone who was always on the go and always thinking of the next thing! I’m learning to be aware of my thoughts without having to act on them. It goes something like this ‘Oh, it would be fun to do ______! I can begin tomorrow! First I must do _____ and then ____. Maybe I could also add ______.”
At this point I become exhausted and often tearful as I realize that I simply don’t have the energy to do anything at all.
Except sit and drink tea.
I saw my doctor last week and she asked how I was doing. I explained the ups and downs I’m experiencing and her advice was, “Sit and drink tea. That’s all you have to do now. Just sit and drink tea”.
OK. I can do that. For now, that’s enough.